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When I was three years old, my parents had to make best decision of what the best communication and functional within the hearing world. My parent bought first hearing aid, body aid and hired speech therapy. I’ve had to have speech therapy multiple times a week from age 3 to 12. I failed kindergarten (hearing school) due lack of communication and misunderstanding in the classroom, back then there was no American Sign Language (ASL) interpreter. My parent researched to find where to place me mainstream school which teachers use ASL except students forbid to use ASL, only oral and speaking language. My parent made the effort to see if I can attend to Rochester School for the Deaf (RSD), I had to take aptitude test to be qualify. The superintendent of RSD told my mother that I was overqualified to be admit their school because of my intelligent level. They were concern of boredom and less challenge to pursue my education.

Despite how physical disabilities are mostly visible, being deaf is completely invisible and only deaf/hearing impaired individuals can manage with it. With being deaf/hearing impaired, we can only control whether we want to hear or not. There’s nothing anybody else can do because they don’t know anything about what being deaf is like.

I was capable of lip-reading, but it is essential to keep mind that only 30-40% spoken English is distinguishable on the lips. Many deaf/hearing impaired do not speech-read well. Be sure you ask the person if he or she is comfortable communicating in this manner. I rely on lip-reading and often perform better when it is a subject that is familiar. I do get frustrated when hearing person do not face the person and make contact when speaking. Best way, if the person prefers to use speech reading, speak normally and avoid speaking to slow or too fast. Best to eliminate food or gum from the mouth. Do not place hands or other object near your face.

I feel uncomfortable to be in the crowd of people due to background sounds and make it difficult for me to hear the person conversation. Especially in the meeting, I normal sit up front so I can see the speaker, [for whom it is] important to stay in one location with good lighting. [I am at a] disadvantage if someone behind me asks question. It is difficult for me to see where the person speaking and do not know what the question was. I had to see what the speaker answer was, it gives me the hint of the question was asked. I normal wait to end of the meeting, I asked the speaker, be patient and relaxed, who was the person ask question and discussed the question.

I get frustrated when the hearing person called through Video Relay Service (VRS), most of the time, they hang up. I had to call back to speak the hearing person. I would educate them of understanding how to use VRS. Just speak directly instead of saying “Please tell him…or Please ask him…” The hearing person can hear me but not able to hear them because the interpreter on the video will translate what the hearing person speaking. A lot of time, they don’t leave message. I understand their concern of using interpreter, [though the interpreter signs a] non-disclosure agreement. It ok to speak the interpreter to leave the message for you.

~ Richard Friends
TMB Employee